RECIPE BOOK - Eat What The Hell You Want - A Diet For Real People!

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The recipe book "Eat What The Hell You Want - A Diet For Real People" has a target release date for the Fall of this year. Below are examples of headings & menus. Items will be added as they are finalized.

Forward

Eat what the hell you want, just eat less!

There, an ancient secret to healthy living has finally escaped Pandora’s Box. Warning: Do not tell the “Diet Corporations” or “Diet Gurus.” This free common sense causes them to lose vast amounts of business. It is estimated that Americans spend well over $40-45 billion in weight loss programs and products.

If you follow this “revolutionary new diet plan,” you may finally stop thinking about food, your weight and how ugly you are. You’ll move on with your life, to something more important. What that is, you’ll have to discover on your own, but it will come to you.

I'm not a commercial chef, I'm not a nutritionist nor diet expert. I only have common sense. I do what my mother told me.

How is it that she lived to be 93, without medical and weight problems, while coming from a generation of "ill-informed," a generation which "lacked knowledge," "scientific food gurus" and "nutrition-experts?"

We now have all these miracle foods, miracle potions and drugs, miracle "diets and solutions" and experts telling us what to eat (and without who's wisdom and products we would fail to exist), as our society eats itself to death with business driven "marketing concoctions." Let's call this processed stuff what it is...I'll coin it "Quasifood." But, enough of this bashing - it accomplishes little...!

Now that you’ve learned the secret, you won’t be obsessed by and consumed with food – as if somewhere on that plate was the meaning and purpose of your life – you’ll just be eating and enjoying good food.

If you are a lonely person looking for happiness from food, you’ll find some solace but not your happiness and self esteem; if you’re a person who is overweight, by eating less you’ll lose the pounds. Sorry – that’s it!

The diet industry and marketers of magic programs and products are nothing more than psychic clairvoyants and astrology soothsayers – and packagers of hogwash!

Enjoy balanced meals and all the varieties of foods you want! Just eat less! Get on the course of moderation. Yes, also get off your duff, and do some basic, daily exercise. We all need it. Most of us don’t work outdoors or on the farm anymore. I walk on the treadmill or briskly outside in the neighborhood, one hour per day, at a 3 mile per hour clip. In the winter time, I dress appropriately.

Don’t waste your money on any “magic” machines or gadgets.

You won’t look like those actors or gymnasts. They are props to get you to buy their products. Later, once you are seeing some progress from my “diet program” (now that is funny), if you want, purchase a machine that gives you aerobic benefits. But you have to be into it with an attitude that you are doing it for your health and well being, and that you enjoy the one hour you can spend by yourself – thinking and dreaming time – not for the purpose of losing pounds, not because a commercial claims you will look like an “healthy,” anorexic or muscular movie star.

Imagine This...!

You enjoy food. You can eat what you want. No need to hide in the closet. No more feeling guilt and shame when eating.

How many diets have you raced towards, for dear life, only to fail and try another (now that’s ego building…)?

Hey…! Wake up…! “Diets” don’t work…! Authors are getting rich. They know it, and you don’t…! If you need meaning in your life, go buy some red socks…! Go water a flower. If you’re nuts, I can’t help you.

This book and my recipes are about good eating, tasty meals, enjoying flavors, aromas and the satisfaction of creating something from my own imagination, learning as I go and making the next concoction another great discovery.

I enjoy puttsing in the kitchen. It is relaxing. I find great solace; the world becomes quiet. The universe around me slows down; I become less hectic and nervous; I smell the roses.

Stop and smell the food…!

Peace of mind sets in. Life is good. Food is your friend, not your enemy!

Introduction

I’ve been overweight twice before. I am 5’ 11” tall. I simply enjoyed eating and ate too much. My last weight was 235 lbs. After a year of gradual cutting back and a little discipline, I now weigh 200-197. I am “supposed” to weigh in at around 175 lbs, give or take. I’m very pleased with my slow and safe progress. My goal is to reach 180-175 lbs. I’m not in a hurry, and I’m on my way. I’ve done this before, and only my desire to do it will get me there. And it’s not about my looks.

I’m already good looking. My dogs lick my face all the time.

I began to feel “heavy” and I knew it was not good for me. I had less energy than before; I began to feel not good about myself, also. So, don’t think I don’t know where you may be coming from. I wanted to do something about it. And, about my good looks, well I have to leave that for someone else’s judgment.

“Diets” are marketing and sales shams and are not effective. Those factory produced frozen or processed foods taste bad. Let me take that back – they taste like crap. They call them “meals.” I call them sanitized, frozen and processed road-kill.

Oh, give me a break!

1. Peel and quarter a real potato (tennis ball size or a pinch smaller): 1 minute;
2. Boil potato: 20 minutes (you don’t have to watch it, it boils by itself and takes no effort);
3. Stick a fresh chicken leg, thigh or breast into the microwave: 3 minutes;
4. Put it into the oven at 375 and bake until a nice golden brown: 20 minutes or until done;
5. Corn, green beans or vegetable of choice in the microwave: 3 minutes (or steam or boil on stove top, until done);
6. A small (!) pat of butter, a sprinkle of salt & pepper and Italian seasoning: 15 seconds;
7. Beverage of your choice in a glass (don’t suck it out of the can or bottle – what the hell happened to your self-esteem and, didn’t your mother teach you anything?!). Savor it from a fine glass.

That’s it!

A real meal: 20-30 minutes. Sit down. Eat slowly. Close your eyes. Savor the smell! Savor the taste! Make sure some music is wafting in the background. Take your time and enjoy…!

Here is the alternative:

1. Processed, frozen, factory road-kill out of a plastic or tin tray: 20-30 minutes.
2. When done eating, make up for the flavorless, stinking, wet-woolly smelling “food” by immediately over-snacking something tasteful - potato chips, cake, chocolate candy bars, etc., all night long.
3. Unsatisfied disgust, feelings of food deprivation, depression and anger with self: all night long. Repeat the next day.

Producers of those products do not care about your diet or your health. If their advertising tells you that they do – false. That’s what it is, advertising and promotion to create sales. To them, it is about products and units, just like vacuum cleaners and automobiles sold.

Their primary interest is creating “products which sell” and “millions of units per quarter sold.” They are about “what products can we create, that consumers will buy?” and “what new markets are available to us/what have we not invented yet?”

I’m somewhat guilty of the same and, the truth is, I want to sell many copies of this book. I won’t kid you…no secret there. Do I care about your weight? No, you have to care about your diet, if it’s an issue. Do I care how beautiful you are? No, I don’t know you. And food manufacturers don’t know you either.

By the way, you are beautiful or handsome just the way you are…!

You don’t need anyone’s two cents, concocted advertising or passive-aggressive criticism to make you a good or whole person. People criticize others to make themselves feel adequate or acceptable. They criticize, they get criticized. It’s a Catch-22. Companies shame you and make you feel less than human or satisfied, less than what the “perfect” fashion is of the day, so that you buy their products. It’s as simple as that. End of subject.

I like myself for who I am. If we meet, I will like you for who you are, or I go someplace else. Better yet, you go somewhere else…avoid companies and people who pass judgment on you. Who you are is in your head. It is not about your weight or the clothes you wear, the wine you drink, the food you eat or the car you drive. I’ll dribble some more wisdom a little later.

I hope you’ll enjoy the flavors of my recipes and get the same pleasure from the making of a meal. There is life beyond food, but I sure do like a damn good soup and sandwich.

Having preached that one, let’s get back on track.

I gradually and eventually started to walk 3.5 miles per hour on a treadmill, for one hour every day. I am on the same routine now. You don’t have to do this, right away – start gradually. When I finish, I feel great – it revitalizes me and pumps me full of fresh oxygen. I love food and have come to the conclusion that “deprivation” was something not even the Neanderthals pursued.

My game plan became: “Eat what the hell I want, just less of it.” Eat part of the cow, not the whole damn thing! No fancy secrets here!

There is nothing better than a 22 oz. steak, a very large baked or boiled potato, smothered in butter, sour crème and chives and bacon, complimented with corn or other vegetable of choice and sautéed onions. I love salt, so a lot of salt and pepper were always the coup de grace.

Well, it had to come to an end – not the meal, (no way in hell) but the portion! And now I still enjoy the steak, the potato and butter, the vegetable and the sautéed onions – I just enjoy less of it. And therefore I don’t feel deprived and starved!

So that was it…! Christoph’s revolutionary “diet” was born!

By the way, “diet” in my book means a healthy, well balanced meal – eating everything nature has to offer. Notice I said nature, not man.

Diet does not mean deprivation or cutting out groups of food. Who the hell started that brainless idea?

These meals and recipes are partially what I grew up with, partially what I learned from watching others and, finally, the stuff I experimented into creation. They are basic meals, simple, and full of flavors that I like.

They are starting ideas. Have fun, create your own. Others have never complained about my meals (or they lied to me successfully and told me the meals were great). But, if that were the case, why do they always come back to my table?

These meals contain the following: fats, butter and oils, cholesterols, and carbohydrates, salts and sugars and other fancy spices. All the things you get from natural foods – the kind that come from the earth and grow on trees. I find it interesting that nature gave us all this “bad” food and that we have to eat what comes from laboratories and manufacturing facilities or food mutations from beakers on a Bunsen burner.

I recommend you eat a consistently, well balanced diet of wholesome, fresh foods from all family groups. Variety is also the spice of life. The only rule here is moderation.

If you are looking for something deeper and more complex, you won’t find it here…!

Unfortunately, every once in a while you’ll have to put up with one of my lectures. If you are looking for peace of mind, a human relationship or emotional stability, food won’t give it to you, and I won’t promise it to you.

What food can give you is relief from hunger (that’s its sole purpose), a relaxing hour of preparation, good company and conversation at the table (even if it’s with yourself) and an aromatic, tasty and flavorful meal.

Umpapa…!

One Last Story

I took a trip with my daughter Karen to Iowa, some time ago. It was her turn for the university. We made a mini 3 day vacation out of the event. She was excited and I was a proud father.

When I travel, I love the idea of a country breakfast, in a small town – a real, home cooked type of meal: a small glass of freshly squeezed orange juice to start with, a little coffee (regular), 2 eggs over-easy, hash-browns, rye toast buttered, and 2 sausage patties. Kill it with a tall, ice cold glass of milk…Damn, now that’s good! You see, I don’t do this every day.

My daughter had orange juice, an unreasonable portion of pancakes with butter and syrup and a tall, ice cold glass of milk. She doesn’t do it daily, either.

Now, across the restaurant by the window, in a booth with a big round table, by herself, a quite, rotund young lady (damn, I mean rotund: approaching 300 lbs, I’m convinced) was reading a paperback, smiling and quite involved.

On her plate were 4 eggs over-easy, hash-browns, 4 sausage patties, 2 slices of buttered toast. On the side were a serving of biscuits and gravy, more sausage patties, more hash-browns and a bowl of fruit.

She beckoned the waitress. In a stupor, I watched with awe and interest, as she requested another tall glass of ice filled Coca Cola. Emphatically, she commanded, “Please make sure that it’s a ‘diet’ coke.” She did not look up, skip a morsel or turn the page.

A Word of Caution and One More Bag of Wind

Your personal health condition may require you to be under your doctor’s care.

These recipes assume that you have no health concerns, such as high blood pressure, sugar levels, cholesterol levels, diabetes, etc.

This book is not presenting a “diet” plan to be followed, nor is it intended to be a “weight loss” program. This book is about common sense and enjoying what we all do every day, in moderation. These meals meet my pallet’s desires, and I present them to you with the same spirit.

The industry is telling you that you need to be on a diet (even if you don’t), in order to achieve some “ideal” physical condition or emotional stability. The truth is, if you need to be on a “diet regimen” because of weight, you are eating too much as a whole, excessively snacking and not getting the exercise that your body requires.

Here is a tip: you are sucking down too many beverages, eating too much dessert, potatoes chips, donuts, candy bars, too much pasta, too much bread, too much ice cream, steaks that are too big, too many pork chops, too many potatoes, too much fried, fast food, etc.

If you are nervous or bored, don’t eat!

Read a book or magazine of value, about something that interests you. Do not eat and watch TV. You won’t be aware of the good food flavors and aromas; you’ll simply eat like an unconscious schmuck! Concentrate on the pleasurable flavors of your meal. You deserve it. I won’t give you my opinion about the value of TV. (Ok…I’m lying; I can’t resist and I’ll tell you later).

The answer the beverage industry has for you is: don’t drink fewer beverages; instead, we now have “diet” beverages for you. (If you drank only one beverage per day, we the industry would go out of business). God forbid you drink what you should, or what nature intended – good, free water.

I do not buy water!

When I go cycling, I drink from city or township provided fountains. I think I can promise you that you won’t get the bird-flu. I always bring a cold, large mouth water bottle filled at the house, with ice cubes. I will not be healthier, lose weight or become more handsome, if I spend my hard earned money on commercial water. I grew up in the city of Chicago. My mother never purchased water. It was considered stupid and a waste of money. Occasionally, she would drink a 7-Up or Ginger Ale, a little wine (we made Spritzers, the old fashioned way).

I don’t recall her being overweight, ugly to look at, chronically ill, or with leprosy or unable to speak properly.

In spite of drinking only tap water, she was still a nice person, socially adjusted and generally happy. She lived to be 93. At that age, I still gave her a teddy bear and a kiss for Christmas.

Of course this is contrary to what all water bottlers will tell you. You cannot live a healthy and happy life without purchasing their water. Humbug!

A health plan and weight resolution the food industry has for you is frozen, canned or processed factory food – foods that promise to make you thin, slow down your aging process, give you beautiful skin, make you emotionally happy, solve your marital problems, make your spouse do what you want, etc.

If you eat pre-packaged foods because they are portioned meals, proportion your own meals.

If you are miserable, be miserable eating real food…!

At worst, you will be the beneficiary of the health benefits of real food. I think I can say with some certainty that you will not starve with smaller portions of food, if you make your own meals.

But, here is another Catch-22.

If you and I become so lazy that we can’t spend 30 minutes to make an authentic meal for ourselves or the family, the food processors deserve every penny they take from us. After all, it is us, our habits, attitudes and emotional gullibility that have put them and keep them in business, in the first place.

Now, we should also enjoy garbage fast foods – every once in a while, not as a steady diet! So go ahead, enjoy them, every so often.

Nothing wrong with wood-pulp tasting burgers (on this thing they call a bun – it’s supposed to be bread?), dehydrated birds called chicken and wallpaper paste tacos. Hold on. I have to put this book to the side and rush out to get me one of those “meals.”

Here is a thought: 1 meal from Burger King (my preference) – 2 quarter lb. Whoppers®, large French fries and large coke – has 2270 calories, 107 grams of fat and 840mg of sodium. Holy cow, that’s enough to fill someone's calorie and almost double the fat quota for the day! And look at the amount of salt! So, let’s “supersize” ourselves; let’s have 2 burgers, large fries and a large “diet” coke (to make sure our dinner is calorie reduced, because we are calorie conscious). Yeah, right!

My secret is told. Once a month I get my Kentucky Fried Chicken fix. (I said, once a month, not 3 times a week). I get a leg and a thigh, a scoop of the best coleslaw, great mashed potatoes and gravy and a small coke – no refills. Original, not Crispy!

I’ll be back….

Come and join me for balanced, appropriately portioned, tasteful meals. Grab 4 ounces of willpower, 1 pound of attitude and let’s go! Life doesn’t get better!

-- Christoph